Monday, February 20, 2006

Hillarious Fictitious Journalism

"I make up stories about the Middle East because nothing in the newspaper is worth reading"

Read it. Hillariously funny.

Excerpt:

Weekly Horoscopes: February 19-25

Aries (3/21-4/19)
No one but you will survive when Pakistan decides to send its army for a "friendly fire" display at your airport. Because you are the only survivor, you shall be the only one to realize that your country's alliance with Pakistan was in fact a bad idea.

Taurus (4/20-5/20)
Righteous as ever, you think you have the patience of Job. This confidence will be put to test at the end of the week when Bin Laden shows up to your house wanting to take a shower and use your daughter's razor to shave his beard.

Gemini (5/21-6/21)
No one will believe you when you say Hamas mistaking kidnapped you over the weekend thinking you were Danish. To prove this to others, check your ass for a branding of the word Lurpak.

Cancer (6/22-7/22)
You will get arrested early this week when the Ayatollah finds your graffiti on the side of his house. Next time, don't sign your name and telephone number at the bottom.

[...]

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